came to california where he visited, thought things would be better. and he went from restaurant to restaurant to get a job and told, i'm sorry, sir, you have no references. he worked two full-time jobs as a janitor because and he my mom believed it was important for her to stay at home while he raised three boys. they did so on my dad's income as a janitor and then he saved up money to start a cafe. that's when we had a fight. my brothers and used to work for him. >> gretchen: the message you want to give to people is if they grow up in a similar situation, what should they take away from this? >> first of all, be appreciative that off father in your life, even if he's a difficult junkyard dog like my dad. second of all, it's never too late to sit down with your relatives. my female friends told me they had difficult relationships with their fathers and one time they sat down and worked it out. the message is, sit down. don't assume dad thinks something else. don't waste those years. when i've told this to people and they read the book, people have re